Mom-shame to A-game


In a society where women have been fighting together for equality and justice, sometimes I am discouraged to see that us women are too often the source of each others heartache and grief.

If I ever thought that girls could be mean as kids and teenagers…I entered a whole different ballpark when I became a mom.
The “mom shaming” is real. The successful women shaming is real. I don’t get it.

Strong judgment is passed when a mother doesn’t believe in vaccines or circumcision. How we discipline or don’t discipline. What our kids eat and or what medications they take. Judgment when business women garner attention with their products. As though its a pyramid-like race for who is going to one-up the other and how.

Not one mother is going to parent the exact same as another. Not one woman business pioneer is going to have the same concepts and visions as the one next to her. So why are we so wrapped up in hating on one another instead of congratulating each other and building on our triumphs together. Sometimes a triumph for a mother is getting the kids dressed and into their car seats while their toddler sings the ear piercing song of his people. Sometimes a triumph is finishing that huge pile of laundry that’s been sitting in the dryer for three days. Sometimes a triumph for a business woman is three people sharing her Facebook post, promoting her business!

Whatever or however small our daily victories are, they should act as a reminder that they are victories because we are all fighting a battle that isn’t always so transparent to everyone else. And when we win or when we fail, there is a line of women behind you all trying to make it out still swingin’.

We’ve adapted this hardened exterior that is in a way a shield to protect our sensitivities from the negative reactions of other people. When one of us puts ourselves out there in a way leaving us vulnerable, we are too often judged and spoken about harshly. Because that’s our defense…thinking “wow I wish I had thought about that first.” Instead of giving inspiration credit when it’s deserved. Why don’t women tell each other when someone has done something really freaking cool? Why have we adopted this jealous/envious/mean way of reacting to something we feel inspired by? What the hell happened to cheering each other on? Or do I live in an alternate reality where that is and or never was a REALITY?

Trust me…there is NOTHING wrong with being nice, inspired, taught and empowered by other women. Maybe if we spent more time doing uplifting sh*t for one another we could band together and actually make changes to real world issues that really impact us all.

Maybe next time a girl has the cutest outfit you’ve ever seen, tell her. Maybe next time your local small business owner shares her homemade jewelry, you share that sh*t on Facebook and help a girl out. Maybe when a stay at home mom invites you to like her essential oils Facebook page, you support her and “like” it. How about the self taught makeup artist who worked really hard on a new look…throw her some inspiration credit on your next #MUA post. When a small business owner has a great marketing technique, congratulate her. All of this isn’t so trivial and small when you look at it on a daily basis.

Bottom line: A woman is like a tea bag – you can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water. Let’s stop tea-bagging each other and work together as a unit that can’t be reckoned with in the hot water that is our world today. Ya’dig?