I have completely fooled myself by thinking that the anxiety of this twin pregnancy would get easier the farther along we got. The risks never really go away. As soon as you’re out of the woods on one complication, another one has already started to round the corner. But we are so close and it’s getting so real.
Helping my mom wash and fold preemie onesies, I can’t even wrap my head around the fact that these boys are going to be itty-bitty. We are two weeks tops away from their birth and still don’t know how the twins will be delivered…another daunting thought. If I said that I wasn’t afraid of a vaginal delivery or c section then i’d be a total liar. Push two babies out the good ol’ fashioned way? Or opt to be cut open and the occupants of my womb to be literally seized? Maybe I won’t get a choice…and maybe that would be better (haha)
If I had thought my life hadn’t changed enough as it were, I now have an inkling of how interesting (to say the very least) that It is about to become. A mom? That’s one thing. Mom of twins? A whole ‘nother ballpark. My entire life, people always looked at me and said that I was born to be a mom. Maybe that is because of my “want to fix everyone” nature? Or maybe it’s just a mommy-complex…the one that I’ve always had. Either way, my point is that it’s one thing to be told that one possesses motherly like traits, again, its another thing to actually step up and be a mother. And I am scared.
One thing I can say is thank God for all the beautiful mothers that I have the privilege to call friends. I can not put a price on how invaluable their advice and input has been for me during this pregnancy and even before. To the moms reading this, I know that I can come to you for questions and help. Why? Because you are all amazing at what you do. I can only hope that I come up to par with raising these boys.
Moral of this blog: It’s almost time. I’m terrified. I’m ecstatic. I’m thankful. And I am not “lucky” because I prayed for this.