Morning Purgatory

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It’s almost 1 AM and I’m still awake. Somewhere between sleep…and purgatory, I swear.
My creative mind is always at work this time of morning. I wrap up in a blanket, put on my slippers, make a pot of coffee and sit outside to smoke a cigarette. Working with the public is interesting. I spend my days giving people their one self indulgent treat of the day which of course, is coffee. I meet all kinds of people. The rich upper-middle-class, the teenagers who are on break from classes at the college, the swearers and beggars of the streets and the plain hopeless. Unlike the rest of the ladies that I work with, I love going to work at night to see my friends. The ones who live on the streets and in the scary apartments next-door. The ones who know the real meaning of rough, and the real meaning of need. I love listening to their stories and for a lot of reasons I’m closer to them then people I called my “friends” years ago. It’s not that talking to these people makes me feel better about my life, no. It’s that these people who are so highly discriminated against, in reality could educate anyone about the real meaning of friendship, trust, deceit, and betrayal. No matter what, it seems that my friends here always have the attitude and the advice to keep me looking forward. There’s light at the end of the tunnel for everyone. I feel strongly that one key element of staying sane in today’s world is to always remain open-minded. If you feel strongly about one side, then be able to back it up with a very good reason. Of course with all of the social media applications that people use today, I see a lot of inspirational quotes that people post. One of my absolute favorites that I have recently stumbled across is a quote that says, “Find what you love and let it kill you.” Now I don’t know who this quote is by, but I find it so powerful and yet the simplicity of it is just hard-hitting. What does it mean to find something that you love and then to let it kill you? I am sure there are many interpretations of the quote, such as with everything. Nevertheless what do you think? Something that has really helped me get by is the thought that, if I do what I can each day, what I know to be right and just, then I will be rewarded at some point and any hardship, I will be strong enough to take on. Here is a good question for you. I will try to make it short and as simple as possible. Everyone everywhere is addicted to something. No, I don’t mean just drugs or food or shopping. Just in general. That impulse that excites and scares us at the same time. There is a reason we are all addicted to something, some underlying hurt or pain that we have experienced at some point. Is our life really about just trying to get over it and fill that void? People who write self-help books saying that they conquered whatever it was that plagued them. Are they really over it, or are we just coveting our entire life, we die trying? I don’t know, just food for thought I guess.

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